Balance, now there’s a word! The modern woman fought so hard for the right to do it all. The challenge has been that we’ve added more to our already full plates and put ourselves at risk for burnout and loss of personal satisfaction. As a dermatologist, a mother, and a woman who has navigated the complexities of balancing a demanding career with family life, I understand the unique pressures we face. I always knew I wanted to be a doctor and equally important to me was having a family. I knew there had to be a way.
As we celebrate Women’s Day, I want to share some insights on how to achieve that elusive balance – a balance that allows us to thrive in our careers while nurturing our personal lives, and ultimately, taking care of ourselves, which is the foundation of true beauty and confidence.
1. Love what you do and do it with passion: your children will feel that energy and appreciate it. If you come home happy and fulfilled, your family will thrive on that energy.
2. Be present: At home put away the phone and laptop, your kids know when you’re all there or when you’re distracted. At work, get it done and leave it in the office. Compartmentalization takes practice and is an essential skill for balance between work and home life.
3. Make time for you: it’s hard to make time for yourself without guilt. I submit to you that “you” time is as important as family and work. Time will expand to make room for it in your greater efficiency and joy in everything else you do.
4. Be maximally efficient: Take stock of everything on your plate. Do you really want or need to be doing all these things? Eliminate the extras then determine the best way to delegate what you can. Over time it gets easier as you get into the rhythm of being maximally organized and efficient in getting things done. It’s truly one of the biggest secrets to success and making the most of your time.
5. Know it’s a team effort: I learned early on that by expecting more of those around me, everyone rose to the occasion and the sense of accomplishment was a shared experience. At home, my children were expected to participate in… pretty much everything… from a young age. I was the antithesis of the helicopter mom- when the kids wanted to go to sleep away camp, my line was: “find a camp, make a presentation, and if I approve, I’ll pay for it.” They did it, loved the camp and still to this day talk with pride about the experience.
6. Let it go: you can’t be all things to all people at all times. Be happy where you are and know that your kids appreciate you more knowing that your time matters too and they will be proud of you, as you are of them when they celebrate your success as you celebrate theirs.
How you manage the balance between work and family and self is a personal choice and there’s no right or wrong. It takes soul searching to know your own heart and desires and to have the confidence to go for what works for you. Letting go of guilt and regret is not easy, but it is possible to have a balance that works for you and to be fulfilled in your personal life as well as your chosen career.
